i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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