the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
