2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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