Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
