I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
