I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
