My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
