Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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