I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
