We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
