Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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