so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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