did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
