stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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