Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize