im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
