it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize