I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
