What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Randomize
