I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
