Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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