some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize