There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She announced her abortion via fbk
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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