double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
