Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
