Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
