Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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