the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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