The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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