Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
