how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
