What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
