When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
