I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize