Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
