every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
