I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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