Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Your dad touched me again.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
