I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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