the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
