i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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