I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
