so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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