theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My pussy is not your playground.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
