A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
