I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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