We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dicks are not precious.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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