I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
