Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
ttyl tear gas
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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