Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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