dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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