i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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