I cockslap morals
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize