this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
