I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
