i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
