I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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