if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize