Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
nutella sex= disaster
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
