Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
