I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
A+ Viking dick
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
