if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it was like eating out sand paper
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
