i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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