So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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