it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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