We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
