She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
