When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
