oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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