Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
