Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I could fuck to npr.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
