I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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