dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
