i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you win again, gameday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
