the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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