dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
