the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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