did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
