that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
soo... how was my night?
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