3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
