u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
4 words: hood of his car
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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