I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
