you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
